Category: Psyched

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Psyched

A Dose of Insight

Cebu City | I went to a certain Government Agency (not gonna
disclose) to comply with my duties as a Filipino.

In the office, I diligently followed the line and
priority numbers despite the fact that the
instructions were not clearly given.
Confused, I sat down and read every post I could
see within the vicinity. Then, I started to ask
around.

Everything went well until the officer-in-charge with
a loud and condescending tone uttered to me
“Adto lagi ang pila dong!” (The line starts there!)
To me it was off. I felt like a high school kid
reprimanded by a strict teacher with a stick ready
to hit me anytime. I mean, I don’t have an issue
with how they addressed me; it was their tone and
how they assumed I knew the rules which bothered
me.

Nonetheless, I composed myself knowing that
‘twas noon, and (maybe) everyone had a bad
temper because of the heat of the sun (though not
a valid excuse because the office is fully air
conditioned). Still, *Carpe diem*

After patiently waiting for 3 hours, I proceeded to
the counter only to be greeted by another officer
with an insulting tone “asa man imong…” “di lagi
pwede!” *fast talking* *jargons all over* (where’s your…) (that’s not allowed…)

(In soliloquy I said: Do they really need to assume
everyone knows the rules? Why can’t they just
answer my questions? Can’t they just be gentle?)

Again, I respectfully responded to the interview, and
they gradually processed my documents.

When they asked for my ID, I presented the same.

*officer shocked when I presented my PRC ID*
Oh, Sir, you’re submitting these as a
PROFESSIONAL diay? So you’re also a teacher?

*their tone started to be gentle*
Okay, Sir. May I know your… (and they asked for
more details). Then the vibe became calm and
respectful.

Perhaps, it’s not their fault that I have a build like
that of a high school kid? Kidding aside… I
honestly don’t know how to react at that moment.

While contemplating, I was reminded by the
lessons my parents keep on telling me. I vividly
recall they told me TO ALWAYS BE KIND.

My parents taught me that how I regard a CEO
should be the same as that of a noble laborer of
the lower class. To never judge a person by their
appearance and to give empathy. “Kindness costs
you nothing” they always say.

(No offense to those employees who are really
doing their job well–there are still a lot of them)

As I walked to the exit after finishing the
transaction, I was saddened by the officers’
behavior. Not because of the fact that they wrongly
judged or mistreated me, but because of my worry
that they might do it again to other people. That
they might be passing these behaviors on to their
children without them being aware.
What kind of generation are we raising when we
are gradually losing basic decency?

I hope we can still “Make Kindness The Norm.”
As my parents always tell me:
“Be kind; it costs you nothing.”

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Psyched

The Intricacies of Human Emotions

Human emotions are complex psychological states that are experienced in response to various external and internal stimuli. Emotions are subjective and can vary in intensity, duration, and complexity. These include happiness, sadness, anger, fear, surprise, disgust, and love. They can be triggered by a wide range of factors such as relationships, events, experiences, memories, and thoughts.

The origins of human emotions are not fully understood and are the subject of ongoing scientific investigation. However, some theories suggest that emotions evolved as adaptive responses to help humans and their ancestors navigate the challenges of survival and reproduction.

According to the theory of evolution, emotions are believed to have originated as basic, instinctual responses to environmental stimuli that were crucial for the survival of early humans. For example, emotions such as fear and anger may have helped our ancestors to avoid danger and defend themselves against predators, while emotions such as joy and love may have helped to strengthen social bonds and increase the chances of successful reproduction.

Over time, emotions became more complex and varied in response to the increasingly complex social and environmental challenges faced by humans. They also became more intertwined with cognitive processes, such as decision-making and problem-solving, as humans developed more advanced reasoning abilities.

While emotions have deep evolutionary roots, their expression and interpretation are also shaped by cultural and social factors. Different cultures may have different norms and values regarding the expression and regulation of emotions, which can influence how individuals experience and express their emotions.

Culture can have a significant impact on how individuals experience, express, and regulate emotions. This is because culture shapes the social norms, values, and beliefs that guide emotional expression and interpretation.

As we progress through life we tend to forget how emotions affect our being. We are bombarded with so many thoughts and very preoccupied with mounting responsibilities. These things overwhelm us. In fact, we are often blinded by our very own emotions by denying or overreacting on them. This usually leads to unwanted emotional dilemmas. Sometimes we project these to self-defeating acts. While both positive and negative emotions are normal, it is important to recognize them, for it becomes the first step to managing them.

Recognizing our emotions is important for several reasons:

It Develops Self-awareness:

Recognizing our emotions helps us become more self-aware, which is an important aspect of emotional intelligence. Self-awareness enables us to identify our strengths and weaknesses, understand how our emotions impact our behavior and decision-making, and recognize when we need to take action to address our emotional needs.

It Cultivates Effective communication:

Recognizing our emotions also helps us communicate more effectively with others. When we understand our emotions, we are better able to express ourselves in a way that is clear and constructive, and we are more likely to be heard and understood by others.

It Improves Relationships:

Recognizing our emotions can also improve our relationships with others. When we are aware of our emotional needs and can communicate them effectively, we are more likely to build stronger, more supportive relationships with others.

It Betters Stress Management:

Recognizing our emotions can also help us manage stress more effectively. When we are aware of our emotional responses to stressful situations, we can take steps to manage our emotions and reduce the negative impact of stress on our mental and physical health.

In sum, recognizing emotions is not always easy. It requires a combination of observation, self-reflection, and practice. With time and effort, you can develop your emotional intelligence and become more adept at recognizing and managing emotions. It is a lifelong process, when done consistently, can lead to greater happiness, success, and fulfillment for yourself and others.

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Psyched

Should We Manage Expectations?

Managing expectations is the process of communicating and aligning expectations with others in order to ensure that everyone has a clear understanding of what is expected of them and what they can expect in return. This can apply to personal relationships, work situations, or any other situation where two or more parties are involved.

In interpersonal relationships, people have been managing expectations through communication and negotiation for centuries. In business, it gained prominence in the 20th century with the rise of the service economy.

In the mid-20th century, many companies began to realize the importance of managing customer expectations in order to provide better customer service and build customer loyalty. This involved setting clear expectations for the quality of products and services, as well as managing customer expectations for delivery times, pricing, and other factors.

In the 1980s, the concept of managing expectations gained even greater prominence in the business world with the rise of Total Quality Management (TQM) and other quality improvement initiatives. These programs emphasized the importance of setting clear expectations for quality, and then measuring and improving performance against those expectations.

In the 21st century, this concept has become even more important in a variety of contexts. With the rise of social media and online communication, it has become a critical skill for individuals and organizations to navigate the complex and rapidly changing landscape of the digital world.

Today, it is seen as a fundamental skill in many areas of life, from personal relationships to business, healthcare, and politics. As communication and technology continue to evolve, the ability to manage expectations effectively is likely to become even more important.

What happens when expectations are not managed?

It can lead to a range of negative consequences.

When expectations are not clearly communicated and managed, misunderstandings and confusion can arise. This can lead to mistakes, missed deadlines, and other problems that can damage relationships and harm productivity. This further leads to disappointment and frustration, resentment, anger, and other negative emotions that can strain relationships and undermine collaboration. Moreover it will compound to diminished trust, respect, and motivation.

Managing expectations effectively requires clear communication, active listening, and a willingness to be flexible and responsive to changing circumstances. Here are some tips on how to manage expectations effectively:

Be clear and specific: Clearly communicate what you expect from others, and what they can expect from you. Use concrete examples and avoid vague language.

Listen actively: Listen to the expectations of others and try to understand their perspective. Ask questions and clarify any misunderstandings.

Be realistic: Set realistic expectations and be honest about what is achievable. Don’t promise more than you can deliver.

Be transparent: Be open and transparent about your intentions, goals, and priorities. Share information and updates regularly to keep others informed.

Communicate early and often: Communicate early and often about any changes to expectations or circumstances that may affect them. This can help to prevent misunderstandings and disappointment.

Negotiate and compromise: Be willing to negotiate and find a compromise that works for everyone. This may involve adjusting expectations, deadlines, or other factors to meet the needs of all parties involved.

Follow through: Keep your promises and meet the expectations you have set. If you can’t meet a certain expectation, communicate this as soon as possible and offer a solution.

In a nutshell, one should learn this important skill for it can help individuals and organizations build strong relationships, improve communication, and achieve positive outcomes. By being clear and specific, listening actively, being realistic, transparent, and communicating early and often, negotiating and compromising, and following through on promises, individuals can manage expectations effectively and avoid misunderstandings and conflicts. By doing so, they can build trust, respect, and stronger relationships with others, and achieve greater success in their personal and professional lives.

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Psyched

Consistency Is Key. Here’s Why.

Consistency is a critical component of success in many areas of life. It refers to the quality of being reliable, steady, and persistent in one’s efforts, actions, or behavior. When you are consistent in your approach to a task or goal, you are more likely to achieve it because you are steadily making progress towards it over time.

It has been around for centuries and has been applied to many different areas of human activity. In ancient times, philosophers such as Aristotle and Confucius emphasized its importance in achieving personal and social harmony. They believed that by being consistent in our actions and behavior, we can develop good habits, cultivate virtues, and lead a meaningful life.

In the 20th century, it became more prominent in psychology, particularly in the field of cognitive psychology. Psychologists began to study how people perceive and process information, and how it plays a role in shaping our beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors. In 1957, Leon Festinger proposed the theory of cognitive dissonance, which suggests that when we experience conflicting beliefs or behaviors, we feel psychological discomfort, and we seek to restore consistency in our minds.

It has also been studied in the context of social influence and persuasion. In the 1960s, social psychologist Robert Cialdini identified it as one of the six principles of persuasion. According to Cialdini, people are more likely to comply with requests when they have already made a commitment to a related action or belief. This is known as the “foot-in-the-door” technique, which involves getting someone to agree to a small request before asking for a larger one.

In recent years, it has become a popular topic in self-help and personal development literature. Many motivational speakers and coaches advocate for its importance in achieving success and reaching our goals. They often emphasize the need for discipline, focus, and perseverance to maintain it in our actions and behavior over time.

We can apply it in many aspects of our life, from personal habits and routines to work and professional goals. For example, if you want to achieve a fitness goal, consistency is essential. Regular exercise and healthy eating habits are necessary to see progress and maintain it over time. Similarly, if you want to improve your skills or knowledge in a particular area, consistent practice and study are crucial.

It is beneficial in relationships, where it creates a sense of trust and dependability. When you consistently show up for someone, keep your promises, and communicate openly and honestly, you build a strong foundation for a healthy relationship.

There is a considerable amount of current research that supports the idea that consistency is a key factor in achieving success and well-being in various areas of life. These include:

Habits and routines: Studies have shown that building and maintaining consistent habits and routines can have significant positive effects on mental health and well-being. For example, a study published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Review found that consistent exercise habits were associated with better mental health outcomes, including reduced anxiety and depression.

Academic performance: Research has shown that consistent study habits and routines are strongly associated with better academic performance. A study published in the Journal of Educational Psychology found that consistent study routines were a significant predictor of academic achievement among college students.

Goal achievement: Consistency has been found to be a key factor in achieving long-term goals. A study published in the journal Motivation and Emotion found that people who consistently worked towards their goals were more likely to achieve them than those who did not maintain consistent effort over time.

Relationship satisfaction: Consistency has also been found to be important for maintaining satisfying relationships. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that couples who consistently displayed affection and positive behaviors towards each other were more satisfied in their relationships than those who did not consistently engage in these behaviors.

Workplace performance: Consistency has been shown to be a key factor in workplace performance and success. A study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that employees who consistently demonstrated high levels of effort and performance over time were more likely to receive promotions and other rewards than those who did not maintain consistent effort over time.

So why is consistency a key?

It is because it helps you achieve your goals, build healthy habits, and create meaningful relationships. By being reliable, steady, and persistent, you can make progress towards your aspirations and enjoy the satisfaction of seeing your efforts pay off over time.

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Psyched

On Bad Days

Bad days are a part of life, and everyone has them from time to time. It’s natural to feel frustrated, sad, or overwhelmed when things aren’t going well. However, there are things you can do to cope with bad days and feel better. Everyone experiences challenging situations and setbacks at some point, which can lead to feelings of frustration, sadness, and stress. How should we deal with them?

1. Acknowledge your feelings:

Acknowledging your feelings means recognizing and accepting your emotions, without judgment or criticism. It involves being aware of the sensations and thoughts that arise in response to a particular situation, and allowing yourself to experience them fully.

For example, if you receive negative feedback at work, acknowledging your feelings might involve recognizing that you feel disappointed, frustrated, or upset. It means not trying to suppress or ignore these emotions, but instead accepting that they are a natural response to the situation.

Acknowledging your feelings can be challenging, especially if the emotions you’re experiencing are uncomfortable or difficult to face. However, it’s an important step towards emotional well-being because it allows you to identify and process your emotions, rather than pushing them aside or trying to avoid them. By acknowledging your feelings, you can develop a greater sense of self-awareness and learn to respond to your emotions in a more constructive and adaptive way.

Don’t try to suppress your emotions, instead acknowledge how you feel. Admitting your feelings and accepting them is the first step towards healing.

2. Take a break

Sometimes, taking a break from the situation that’s causing you stress can help you feel better.

Taking a break means intentionally taking time away from an activity or situation in order to rest, recharge, and refocus your energy. It can involve temporarily stepping away from a task, such as taking a short walk during a busy workday, or taking a longer break from a stressful situation, such as going on vacation.

Taking breaks is important for several reasons. First, it allows you to rest and recover from mental and physical exhaustion, which can help you feel more energized and productive when you return to the task at hand. Second, it gives you the opportunity to gain perspective and reflect on your goals and priorities, which can help you make better decisions and improve your overall well-being. Finally, taking breaks can help reduce stress and prevent burnout, which can lead to better physical and mental health outcomes.

Go for a walk, listen to some music, take a nap, or do something else that helps you relax.

3. Practice self-care

Self-care refers to any deliberate and intentional activity that promotes physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Practicing self-care means taking an active role in nurturing your own health and happiness, rather than waiting for others to take care of you.

Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. This could include getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, meditating, or doing something that makes you happy.

Practicing self-care is important for several reasons. It can help you manage stress, prevent burnout, and improve your overall well-being. By making self-care a priority, you are investing in your own health and happiness, which can have positive ripple effects in all areas of your life.

4. Talk to Someone

Talking to someone about your bad day can be an effective way to ease stress and emotional distress. When you talk to someone about your bad day, they can provide validation and support for your feelings. Simply knowing that someone else understands and cares can be comforting and empowering. These people can help you gain perspective and clarity on your situation. By articulating your thoughts and feelings out loud, you may be able to see things from a different angle or come up with new solutions to your problems. Moreover, you can find emotional release and social connection. They allow you to express your feelings and release any pent-up tension or stress and feel supported.

5. Seek professional help

Professional help refers to seeking the assistance of a trained and licensed mental health professional to address mental health concerns or issues. Mental health professionals may include psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, licensed professional counselors, and other trained professionals who specialize in mental health treatment.

People should begin to erase the stigma in seeking professional help. Rather, they should start to admire the courage of people who acknowledge the struggles in life and in exerting efforts to resolve them. If you’re struggling with bad days on a regular basis, it may be a sign of a larger issue. Consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your feelings and develop coping strategies.

Remember, bad days are temporary and things will get better. It’s important to take care of yourself during difficult times and reach out for help when you need it.

Dealing with bad days can be challenging, but it’s important to remember that these experiences are a natural part of life. It’s okay to feel sad or frustrated, and seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can help you navigate difficult times.

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Psyched

Why is Progress Not Linear?

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Progress is a concept that refers to the advancement or improvement of something over time. While progress is often associated with a linear path of steady growth and development, the reality is that progress is not always a straightforward and predictable journey. In many cases, progress can be slow, uneven, and marked by setbacks, obstacles, and detours.

It is important to understand that progress is a complex and dynamic process that can be influenced by a range of internal and external factors. Progress may occur in fits and starts, with periods of rapid advancement followed by periods of stagnation or even regression. At times, progress may also require taking risks and facing challenges, which can be difficult and intimidating.

Despite these challenges, it is important to remember that progress is not a destination, but rather a journey. Here are some useful insights:

1. Develop a Growth Mindset.

Growth mindset is a concept in psychology that refers to the belief that one’s abilities, intelligence, and talents can be developed and improved through hard work, dedication, and learning. People with a growth mindset believe that challenges and failures are opportunities for growth and learning, rather than permanent setbacks. They view their abilities as malleable and are motivated to work hard and learn new skills.

In contrast, people with a fixed mindset believe that their abilities, intelligence, and talents are set in stone and cannot be changed. They may avoid challenges and be discouraged by setbacks, viewing them as signs of failure and a lack of natural ability.

Research has shown that a growth mindset can lead to better performance and success in many areas of life, including academics, sports, and relationships. Developing a growth mindset requires a shift in perspective and an openness to learning, growth, and change. This can be achieved through practices such as embracing challenges, learning from failures, and seeking out feedback and new experiences.

As we navigate the journey of progress, we will encounter detours, but your growth mindset will keep you on track. Every time self-doubt kicks in, you will be reminded that it is not yet the end of the road, and that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

2. Do Not Be Too Hard on Yourself.

Being too hard on oneself is a common problem that can lead to negative self-talk, low self-esteem, and feelings of inadequacy. Accept that there will be bad days, and it is totally okay not to be okay. What matters is not the degree of failure you incur; what matters is how you bounce back and emerge with the lessons inherent with these failures. It is important to recognize that everyone makes mistakes, and that everyone experiences setbacks and failures. Instead of being overly critical, it is important to be kind and compassionate with oneself, and to view these experiences as opportunities for growth and learning.

3. Bounce Back.

Bouncing back is developing the ability to recover quickly from setbacks, difficulties, or adversity. It’s about being resilient and having the determination to overcome challenges and keep moving forward, despite the obstacles that you may face. Bouncing back requires a combination of mental and emotional strength, positive thinking, and problem-solving skills. Instead of dwelling on your mistakes too much, try to get out of them. Take the lessons you learn, and move forward.

In a nutshell, progress is not linear for it will require you to face bad days, setbacks, detours. Some days you will feel ecstatic and some days you are melancholic. Know that your emotions are valid and that you should embrace them. The key is to know how to respond to these emotions. Learn the skill of awareness and deliberation with handling yourself. You will get there. Maybe not now, not yet, but very soon.

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Psyched

The Period

What Period (.) has taught me about life

In grammar, “a period is a small dot-shaped punctuation mark that is used at the end of any sentence that is intended to make a statement.” (Ginger Software, 2019)

In life we have to make a significant end. How?

Learn to end the things that don’t serve you best. These are the things that keep you away from what you are capable of. We have to end SELF-DOUBT, ENVY, WRATH, PRIDE

Stop doubting yourself. Learn to appreciate who you are. Trust what God can do to you. If you will not believe in yourself, who else will?

Stop comparing yourself to others. This blinds us from what we have. Use your resources to the fullest. In the words of Adler, “what people do with what they have is more important than what they have”.

Stop hating others. Learn to forgive. “He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now.” (1 John 2:9)

Stop being dominated by PRIDE. This only restricts you from growing. Saying sorry is not and indication of defeat, rather, it is a beacon that will shine light to others. Learn to accept defeats because these shape us, teach us priceless lessons.

Life has taught me that an end is not always a defeat. It is rather a commencement of another endeavor to succeed.

This is how I use period. How about you?

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